This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
