I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
operation harelip BJ is a go
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize