I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
