I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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