My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
