Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
