my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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