You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
