I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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