Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
