I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
