What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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