I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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