I want to have your abortion
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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