You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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