Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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