Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
