The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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