I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
