If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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