Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
