I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
True strength comes from lack of pants
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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