Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
