she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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