So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
