Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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