Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize