Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
