Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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