This is not my ceiling
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
