Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
