Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's like God shit irony all over that family
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize