i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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