oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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