My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
