areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
