you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
