Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I deserve this hangover.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
