He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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