My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
