I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
