whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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