i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
