Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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