i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His nipple licking is glorious
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