"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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