He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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