maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
