Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
