she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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