im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
