I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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