The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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