Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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