at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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