you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
