no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
