Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
