Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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