hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need a burrito and a hug.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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