I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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