i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
